Every month they interview people who are at the forefront of business in Japan. There are so many great people being interviewed in this series that I was surprised to be asked, and so worried about talking about my work in this way.
Despite these worries, I was able to talk about my business for an hour or so. Several days after the interview, I received the rough draft of the article. I was so surprised because not only did they focus on my business, but they also included a lot of the small talk that we’d engaged in.
In particular, I had talked about “mosquito snot” and they had included this! Funai Media is a business magazine, and so it was completely unexpected that this small talk had become part of the focus of my interview!
I emailed the writer and told her that I was worried about this. However, she replied saying that she was very impressed with my story about mosquito snot, and she felt that the readers would also be interested in this episode.
And now, I’d like to tell you about this “mosquito snot episode” too.
When I was a child, my brother and I liked to do star watching through our telescope.
We realized what very small beings we were, in comparison to the universe. After this realization, my brother felt that there was no value to the life of a human and he felt very depressed. He even had a tendency toward suicide.
I was there watching the stars too, did I have the same feeling as my brother? Did I also lose sight of the meaning of life? Of course, I felt that the universe was so huge, and we are so small compared to the universe. However, after realizing this, I found that since I am so small, my worries and fears were also so small almost like mosquito snot when compared to the universe!
When I was a child, my great grandmother was still alive, she was in her eighties. When I thought about living to the same age as her, I realized that I had another 80 years or more to live. I was a very philosophical child, even in kindergarten. I was aware that life was very long, and I felt that my life was too long to live. I was just 4 or 5 years old, but when I thought that I had to live for another 80 years or so I was devastated!
Sometimes I thought about how very, very long my life was and I often cried thinking that I had to live another 80 years and in the morning, when I woke up, I was always so shocked that I was still alive. My days always started with a sigh. My whole childhood was basically like this!
But when I discovered the size of the universe by looking at the stars, I realized how very short my life really is.
If I ever feel that my worries are too big or too terrible, I remember that I’ll be gone in about 80 years. At the same time my troubles will disappear in about 80 years, and this is such a short time compared to the hugeness of the universe.
After I realized that my life was so short compared to the universe, I made up my mind to live until the very end of my life, even if I experience troubles or have a hard life. Because life is so short and small, just like mosquito snot, whether I live for 100 years or only 30, it is basically the same.
God gave me a certain lifespan and it is important for me to live out the lifespan that he chose for me.
I was not a childlike or childish child. When I was in kindergarten, I believed in reincarnation. I felt a sense of discomfort about living life, but I was just a child, and so it was strange to be so philosophical at such a young age.
The message from the universe through the telescope to me was that human life, whether long or short, is very precious.
This is the episode that I talked about with Funai Media.
Several years ago I watched an American drama, Ally McBeal. The heroine Ally is talking with her coworker. In the drama, her coworker said, “why are your worries so serious and so much more important than others’?” And Ally answered, “because they are MY worries.”
I know that my worries and loneliness feel worse and harder than the worries other people faced, but life is short. Life and the worries that we face are essentially the same as mosquito snot when compared to the huge universe! When I remember this, I feel comfortable and at ease with my life. I feel uplifted.
How about you?
If you feel like me, and this kind of thinking helps you feel uplifted and cheered up, then I am very glad I was able to share my story with you.
Temple Beautiful Mail Magazine No.182. Feb. 21, 2007